Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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