What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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