soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
