And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
