sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
