Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
