someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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