Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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