She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
