i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
