then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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