Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
