I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
