We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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