I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
