it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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