god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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