Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
