so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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