just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
