I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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