The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
