remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You smell like stripper and shame
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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