I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
