he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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