so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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