you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
