Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
