Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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