There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
where am i from again
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
