At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
