Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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