I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Randomize
