Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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