We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize