my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
