grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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