Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
