Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
