she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
