Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
