im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
