were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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