butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
