This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
