Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize