i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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