I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
