I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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