He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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