so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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