I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize