if only i could text you this smell
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize