I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
