I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
