So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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