how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
