I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize