idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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