yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
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Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How does one acquire holy water?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I love you.
Bad choice
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