She's JV to your varsity
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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