doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
