It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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