Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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