Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
