Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
